Three decades ago my life was forever altered when a horse kicked me in the temple during a riding lesson, leaving me with a traumatic brain injury, after which I slipped into a coma. Despite being in a state of “sleep,” my recollection of that time is vividly clear. I was of the light, of everything: immersed in the wholeness of the Universe. I found myself within an intense white light, as bright as the sun itself. I was outside of my body, but felt the fullness of the energy of light wrapping around me with a weight and a warmth. The weight of this “light blanket” charged and flooded my soul, until I slowly melted into luminous Presence. I became one with the heart of God: Pure, perfect, unconditional light-love…I was One. I had come Home.
The accident itself happened when I was 12. During a horseback riding lesson, the cinch slipped, causing me to slip to the side and end up under the belly of the horse before falling off completely. As soon as I fell, the horse reared up and kicked me in the right temple, rendering me unconscious. The incident marks the beginning of my spiritual journey. It was the day that changed my life forever.
Paramedics rushed me to Hillsboro Hospital in Texas, where initial tests were conducted before I was taken to Hillcrest Hospital in Waco, Texas. My parents were informed that Waco Hospital had a better neurological team, and some of the doctors were the same specialists who had worked on President John F. Kennedy after he was shot. After transporting me to Waco, the new neurological team encouraged my parents to play movies at my bedside, believing it could help stimulate my mind. My parents were willing to try anything. My poor mother practically lived at the hospital during the time I was there, sitting or sleeping in the cafeteria when visiting hours for the Intensive Care Unit were over. She held out hope for me, going so far as to send the priest away when he came to read me my last rites. In a moment of clarity, she told him that he was not needed. Her child was not going to die.
They started by playing home movies and cartoons, hoping to reach me with familiar content. One day, in a twist of Divine intervention, they decided to play a Disney movie that was mostly classical music. The musical score of this movie is what eventually led me to consciousness. The music is the hero in this journey.
In the coma, I found myself in a fascinating place. Though some people describe being in a coma as darkness or a void, for me it wasn’t like that at all. I was on wooden raft, of sorts, on a river of pink clouds. The clouds billowed up on the shore of the cloud river, and each “bank” represented a place. I somehow imagined that the bank to my right represented “Heaven,” and the left bank represented purgatory. I remember trying to make sense of where I was, as if I were still connected to my thinking mind at that point. I felt fully protected. It was as if I were looking through the lens of a camera – detached but present.
I saw Jesus standing before me, dressed in plain white robes. His eyes were full of love and grace, and I was captivated by their beauty. On my left was a young bald man, dressed in long brown robes. His energy was comforting, strong, and grounded, even though he never communicated with me. Jesus communicated with me through our thoughts. At that time, I didn’t know who the man in the brown robes was, but he would later play a significant role in my human journey, even though Jesus remained my main teacher and guide throughout my experience.
In that place, I knew I was safe, welcomed, and loved. After feeling the love and support from the masters who met with me, my soul was at once lifted into THE Light – it was so bright and beautiful, with colors at the edge of the experience and music playing from heavenly instruments. It was music that I had never heard before, and even as a music therapist who devours music daily, I have never heard it again. The instruments were not of this earth. They were beautiful and harmonious and powerful. The music was light and joyous and celebratory. It seemed to be coming from an area of great color within the light. Soon after being greeted with the music and color, everything became brighter and brighter until it was just me and the experience of light.
Heaven was an experience more than it was a place. I felt an overwhelming sense of love that penetrated every fiber of my being. The love seeped into my essence, causing me to melt into it and become one with it. There was no space for worrying, fear, or ego – I was simply love, surrounded by powerful white light. Time seemed to have no meaning in this place, and though I couldn’t tell how long I was there, it felt like a lifetime.
As quickly as the light had enveloped me, I suddenly found myself back on the wooden raft, face to face with Jesus once again, standing alongside the mysterious man in brown robes. Through his thoughts, Jesus asked me a question: Did I want to live out my life on Earth or stay in Heaven? At first, I longed to stay. I loved being part of that beautiful place of light. Also at that time, I was given a gift of knowledge and clarity. I recognized that by choosing to live, I could accomplish an even more profound sense of meaning. I realized that I had the potential to make a significant impact on the world, and it became clear to me what my life’s calling truly was.
It was upon choosing to live that I realized that my life’s purpose was to help heal people through music. I felt my heart swell with gratitude as I communicated with Jesus: “I want to heal people with music.” I was answered with another wave of overwhelming gratitude for the opportunity to do something meaningful in this world. I was flooded with messages about the world, how to live, and our purpose just as I was once again enveloped by the darkness of the coma. It was a warm, soothing darkness. Within the void of the coma, I saw colorful notes dancing along a staff of music, moving closer to my soul body. I barely heard it, and used every ounce of energy I had to pull it closer to me. Over time, I felt and heart the music booming around me. I knew was back in my physical form. The music moved through me, giving me strength and concentration as I willed myself to open my eyes.
The sound of the music stopped altogether and my eyes were open. I was in the ICU of a Waco hospital looking at the corner of the bed across from me. The curtain was open and I saw machines in the corner of the room. The nurse ran to me and I slipped back out of consciousness. This began my journey of recovery. Music had led me back to my body, and my life began again. This time, with a new understanding of purpose, the world and our connection to the Divine.
These messages came back with me for a reason and I am drawn to share them. From that moment, I have been dedicated to help others bridge the gap between Heaven and Earth, guided by the messages that flooded into my consciousness on that raft.
I want to share a few of these messages with you, starting with the message that first came to me before I woke from the coma. It was that life is a precious gift and that gratitude is the key to living a life full of passion, purpose, and Divine connection. Every moment is a blessing, and we have chosen this life experience so we can expand our understanding of the world and our place in it.
This instilled in me an understanding that we can live life to the fullest, and allows me to surrender to what is, finding meaning in everything. Every experience becomes an opportunity for growth, and every life experience offers a chance to choose light. The more we choose to respond with love, the more love we attract. As we grow and expand our spiritual being, we become better equipped to fulfill our purpose and leave a positive mark on the world.
Another message was about the importance of relationships and people we encounter on our life path. It was a reminder that we journey together, and that our interactions with others have a crucial impact on shaping spiritual and personal development as well as Divine participation. Each interaction I have with another person has the potential to leave a lasting impact on both of us. Whether by a smile, a kind word, a gesture, or helping hand, every action has meaning. These day-to-day interactions have the power to lift me to a new level of existence, and the more positive energy I put out into the world, the more I receive in return.
By intentionally responding to each experience with kindness, empathy, and understanding, I generate a positive energy that not only benefits those in my immediate surroundings, but also elevates my own state of being. This increase in positivity allows the universe to manifest more joyful experiences in my life, as the universal currency is based on love and joy. It’s a positive cycle of conscious elevation.
A final message I want to share is one that I also heard clearly on the raft: We are meant to be here, in this life, on Earth, right now. Everything that exists, from the smallest blade of grass to the largest animal, every plant, every breeze, and every experience we encounter was placed here intentionally by God. Everything here offers an opportunity for growth and expansion. Everything happens for a reason.
As I reflect on my near-death experience and share it again with you, I am filled with gratitude for the lessons that came through that experience and continue to show up in my life. Our time on earth is not just a fleeting series of moments, but a precious gift to be cherished and celebrated. Through this journey, I have discovered that every experience, even the most challenging, offers an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
I am committed to helping others connect with their own spiritual journey and the messages that the universe has in store for them. I believe that we are all gurus to our own life paths and that our mission is to spread light and kindness wherever we go. By choosing to walk the path of love, we create a positive ripple effect that impacts the lives of those around us. Let us remember that we hold the power to shape our own experiences and create a life filled with purpose and meaning. Thank you for allowing me to share my story and for being a part of my journey. May we continue to inspire and uplift each other, always striving for greater heights of love and compassion.
Yep. God bless that horse.
Thank you Ellen for sharing your amazing NDE. It is in itself filled with a lot of heavenly vibrant gratitude, light and love. This world needs more people like you. Indeed, that horse must have been an angel. May your blessed work continue for many decades.
Dearest Ellen, thank you for being the glorious angel that you are for all of us here on Earth. You could have chosen to remain in the pure divine bliss of heaven but you chose your path of love. We are all blessed for that choice!